Friday, May 4, 2012

Letter To A War President



Dear Sir,
There is no other way to put it; you are now a war president. Very few presidents have such opportunities to prove their mettle. The enemy has sustained a senseless bombing campaign where nothing is sacrosanct anymore in your country. It's a tough situation to be in, but men who have led their countries during wars have one heart and two balls like you. It is not the easiest situation; but as a mouth finds its teeth, so shall it accommodate them.
Let me start with one of the greatest war leaders in history, Sir Winston Churchill's resolve on May 13, 1940 - "What is our policy? ... to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime." That, Mr President, is the policy you and your cabinet must adopt immediately.
Now a few more tips:
- If you don't have one already, you must set up a war room which is different from your FEC meeting room. Not all men or women should be welcomed in the room; only the trusted and tested. This is where tactical plans are discussed and maps are used as table cloth and pinned to the walls. Politics and tribal sentiments must not be allowed in this room. This is not where you discuss contracts and profiteering; and any of your Generals that deviates from plans of winning this war should be booted out of the room immediately.
- Keep your enemies close; and that does not mean you have to make them cabinet members. Keep them close enough to destabilise their plans, but not close enough to destabilise yours.
- You must have an army with a Commanding General. The war you are fighting has gone beyond the corridors of politics, and long speeches will no longer cut it. One inefficient General equals hundreds of lives lost to the war.
- Whenever the enemy strikes and succeeds in killing and maiming your citizens, use words to comfort and encourage your people. Refrain from clichés like: "I condemn this latest act of violence"; people get tired of hearing those words. You are at war, and while you are condemning with words, your enemies are condemning with bombs.
- If you cannot back your words with actions, do not utter them. It is better to remain a muted lizard than to speak as a snake that cannot bite. When you visit a war zone, never look bemused or pose as you have been caught with your pants down again. Put on a stern face to show you are in charge of the situation. Never put your hands on your head or waist like a man who just recovered from a dirty slap. If possible, get yourself a walking stick to increase your swagger, get one of those that doubles as a sword. Colonel Benjamin 'Black Scorpion' Adekunle and General Murtala Muhammed carried one.
- The reason we have a term like 'Allied Forces' is because some wars can't be won by one government. Call for help from those who have fought similar wars. One man does not dig a well and also fill it with water. There is no shame in calling for help when the battle thickens; a single broom never sweep clean.
- Do not fight this war with bows and arrows when your enemy is armed with bombs and assault rifles. Do not also allow your soldiers to think killing senselessly will win this war. Their actions could even lead to war crimes, and the last thing you want is to share a double-bunk bed with Charles Taylor in the Hague when all is said and done.
- Have a tactical plan and a clear understanding of how you intend to fight the war that confronts you. Have a firm control of those you have given mandates to win the war for you. Don't be afraid to make hard decisions that make men flinch. If any of your Generals sings a discordant tune in public, do not hesitate to fire him publicly. Remember President Barrack Obama of America had to remind a lose-mouthed and disrespectful General Stanley McChrystal who the C-in-C was - "As difficult as it is to lose General McChrystal, I believe it’s the right one. The conduct represented in the recently-published article … undermines the civilian control of the military that is at the core of our democratic system. And it erodes the trust that’s necessary for our team to work together to achieve our objectives." Those were Obama's words, you are free to borrow them.
- Every time the enemy carries out a successful campaign, even if it is an ordinary match stick struck on the head of a citizen, you must cancel all foreign trips. There is time for everything. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is more important than the life of one of your citizens - whether rich or poor. Remember that what makes you a president are people not goats.
- Finally, only prayers do not win wars. You must act after you have prayed; even King David, who was God's right hand man, went to the battle field instead of praying from morning till night in an enclosed bunker.
Goodluck sir!

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